Overcoming the Discomfort of Putting Yourself Out There

How To Let Go of Perfectionism & Embrace Your Authentic Self

Whether it\’s asking for a promotion, going to a new exercise class, asking someone out on a date, or applying for a new job — putting yourself out there can be uncomfortable.

If you really think about it, there are probably some goals you\’ve been putting off for a long time. Chances are that in order to accomplish said goals, you\’ll need to put yourself out there in some way — and that feels scary.

Even the most extroverted extrovert encounters this type of discomfort. It\’s human nature to want to protect ourselves from judgment, rejection, or failure.

What keeps us from the life we\’re dreaming of?

Perfectionism

Having high standards is generally a good thing. But when we set expectations of ourself too high, we are faced with new challenges.

Fear

Rejection, failure, and judgment are powerful forces. The fear of being rejected, of being judged, or failing can keep us from achieving our goals and living a fulfilled life.

Here\’s our short answer: DO IT ANYWAY.

And here\’s our slightly longer answer:

• Learn to recognize perfectionism. Reflect on the expectations and standards you set for yourself. Do you often have trouble meeting them? Do you feel anxious, frustrated, or angry when trying to achieve these expectations?
• Remember that rejection is a part of life. It really does happen to everyone at some point. The important thing is to not let it define you.
• Work on realistic thinking. Try to replace critical and negative self-talk with positive, realistic statements. For example: \”No one\’s perfect,\” or, \”I\’m doing the best I can and that\’s good enough.\”
• Look at the bigger picture. Perfectionism and fear keep us from seeing things from alternative perspectives. Ask yourself: what\’s the worst that can really happen here? Will this still matter to me tomorrow, or next week, or next year?
• Start small. Practice putting yourself out there in small ways. Confront perfectionism and discomfort by leaving your comfort zone gradually.
• Push back against procrastination. Break down your larger goals into smaller steps. Prioritize tasks and allow yourself to not give 100% to everything.
• Reward yourself and celebrate wins! It\’s easy to gloss over small wins and quickly move on to the next thing. But if we don\’t take the time to pause and celebrate our growth and progress, we can quickly burn out and lose momentum.

For more tips, check out this article.

Advice From the Perfectionist Queen Herself

Dr. Joy shares some insight to motivate and inspire you to overcome the discomfort.